Adventures in India
I stopped in my tracks as I reached the top step of the open-air restaurant.
I was captivated by the view of the warm terracotta roof tiles and palm trees framing the pale blue sky and the vast Arabian Sea, where fishermen worked for hours every day to bring in their catch.
We had just finished yoga on the beach at sunrise (Cherai Beach in Kerala, India), and I was feeling invigorated by the grace and flow from moving my body , the sounds within and around me as we chanted, and how present I felt in my body and mind. My heart was also pumping from the ride home on the bikes which Carolyn and I hired to get us back and forth from yoga.
This was how we started each day on the 8-day NLP Intensive run by Sue Knight and Ramesh Prasad, and I found that I had many a-ha moments outside the training room as well as within it.
I’ve found it fascinating how moving, stretching, and focusing on my body in this way reinforced and enhanced the changes in my mind, and how at home I felt from the moment I arrived.
Some of this was because I have been there before, but it’s more than that…
There was a moment last time when I squeezed a juicy piece of lemon into my tea, and I later anchored* that moment. Right then, I realised that I can feel at home wherever I am. And I smiled and re-connected with that when I had my first cup of tea this time in the garden at Blue Waters hotel, where we had the course.
If you’ve ever read The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho, you’ll be familiar with the concept of seeking and travelling a long way to then discover that what you were looking for was right under your nose! It was a bit like that, AND I was glad I had such an adventure far away from home to discover it (and re-discover it this time).
Stretching my comfort zone
‘Comfort’ was a theme that came up quite a bit before and during this programme, in how I acted and how I spoke about my learning outcomes. Sue challenged me on it – and I’m glad she did – because it had become a blind spot for me in various aspects of life. Perhaps (at least partly) because of living in limbo with the pandemic, and especially having long-covid on-and-off for over two years, I found ways to just accept things as they were at the time (settle, maybe?).
It feels important to challenge and update my beliefs around my health, as well as what I’m capable of as a professional. I have become a little too comfortable with my natural style which is soft and gentle. It does work well and my clients find they can go deep with exploring and understanding themselves… However, I can flex my coaching muscles and benefit clients by being more provocative and challenging, at times!
I believe that where there is discomfort, there is learning, and I have felt the benefit through this training programme, once again.
“I am STRONG”
One of the a-ha moments was when I noticed a tangible, visceral shift from believing “I am resilient” to “I am STRONG”. This feels so different for me, because resilience implies that there are things to be resilient against. Being strong is about a way of being in the world, from the inside-out, and is not dependent on a set of external conditions. It’s about getting myself – and any stories I might be telling myself – out of the way.
This has been a revelation for me, and I am now exploring what that means in my life as it is now. And the more I pay attention to it and say it to myself, the stronger I feel.
That’s the beauty of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming): it’s about studying subjective experience, learning and doing ‘what works’… and sustaining it, too. Through almost 100 days of training (so far!) I have gained a treasure trove of skills and techniques.
And, most of all, I have found a way home to myself.
“Wherever you go, there you are.” Jon Kabat-Zinn
How to feel at home wherever you are
I couldn’t possibly do justice to this in a short paragraph, however here are the key components I have discovered which help me to feel at home, wherever I am in the world…
Be curious about people you meet, customs, food, and culture. Ask questions – most people love talking about themselves and where they come from, and enjoy welcoming people from other places, especially when they can learn from each other and form a bond in the process.
Notice what you have in common. The first time I was in India I noticed very quickly that the people I was with had all travelled a distance to be there too. So we were all fellow travellers! I find that a useful metaphor for life in general.
Tune in to your senses. You are probably starting to notice that I say this a lot. And it works! Right now I’m imagining the sand under my feet, the rustling of the palms above my head, and the vibrant flowers which seem to inspire a colourful palette for everything from clothes to buses to road signs! It can be very grounding and calming, and brings you to the present moment when you go through the senses one by one. When you are connecting with people, notice their expressions, what makes them laugh, and tune in to that (in a very genuine way).
Talking about humour, it’s a wonderful way to break the ice and get rid of any tension or formality. I can think of many examples of potentially daunting experiences which ended up being highlights because of the laughter and banter in the room!
Most of all, trust your instincts and remember the people who are great at this. If I ever feel like a fish out of water, for example in a state of confusion when travelling, I think about intrepid explorers who have far less information and resources than I do. And I also think “What would they do?” and “How would they be?”
*Anchoring is a technique where we can bring about a desired state – or way of being – by choice. For example you might want to bring about calmness, playfulness, or confidence, by choosing and activating a signal to ‘switch it on’. It really works!